SEPTEMBER 2, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bloomberg’s Deputy Aide Resignation Controversy. Impact: If Bloomberg had just let his aide hang out to dry, perhaps we'd have a completely different mayoral scandal landscape. Instead, we got an entire genre of 'politician protects shady aide' stories that led to a series of reality TV shows based on political incompetence. Thanks, Mike!. Fact: Did you know that hiding details in politics is basically the equivalent of hiding the last slice of pizza? It never ends well for anyone involved..
• Headline: Evolving School Dress Codes. Impact: This seemingly trivial shift in dress code could have led to a world where students expressed themselves through their fashion choices, creating a generation of future fashion designers. Or it could just lead to more TikTok influencers. Who knows?. Fact: Did you know that dress codes were originally designed to prevent students from showing too much skin? Because apparently, education is less about learning and more about avoiding wardrobe malfunctions..
• Headline: In Libya, Former Enemy Is Recast in Role of Ally. Impact: Recasting enemies as allies in Libya might have led to an entirely different world order. If only the CIA had known that torture and diplomacy could be blended, we might have seen a reality where Libyan leaders were sipping tea with their former captors instead of plotting the next coup.. Fact: Did you know that the CIA's torture methods have been so questionable that even James Bond would think twice before using them? And that’s saying something!.
• Headline: Plan to Create Jobs Is a Balancing Act for the President. Impact: Obama's balancing act could have resulted in a new Olympic sport: 'Political Compromise Gymnastics.' Unfortunately, the sport never took off, but it did create a lot of headaches for everyone involved.. Fact: Did you know that in politics, 'bipartisanship' is just a fancy word for 'everyone is mildly annoyed'?.