AUGUST 22, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Pressure on N.Y. Attorney General Schneiderman. Impact: If Eric T. Schneiderman had just ignored the pressure and gone for ice cream instead, the entire banking system might have collapsed under the weight of all those bad loans. Or maybe not. But at least we'd have had more ice cream.. Fact: Did you know that the pressure on attorneys general can often result in more drama than a reality TV show? Just imagine the ratings!.
• Headline: Expansion of Local TV Newscasts. Impact: The expansion of local TV newscasts gave rise to more sensational headlines, which ultimately led to the prevalence of 'Breaking News!' alerts for everything from cat rescues to celebrity diets. Thanks for the heart palpitations, local news!. Fact: Did you know that local news is the only place where a weather report can be considered 'breaking news'? Storms are serious business, folks!.
• Headline: Did Newark Bet on the Wrong Sport?. Impact: Newark's sports struggle led to a mass exodus of fans, who went on to create a soccer-loving utopia elsewhere while the Bears were left wondering if they should have just opened a taco stand instead.. Fact: Did you know that baseball is often referred to as America's pastime? Clearly, America was just playing hard to get with soccer all along..
• Headline: U.S. Open Favorites Can Hear Footsteps. Impact: The shift in focus from Federer to Nadal and Djokovic not only changed the dynamics of tennis but also led to a worldwide increase in wrist injuries from people attempting to emulate their serves. Keep those ice packs handy!. Fact: Did you know that tennis players sweat so much during matches that they could probably fill a small swimming pool? That’s some serious dedication to the game!.