AUGUST 13, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Workers Strike Against Verizon's Job Practices. Impact: Little did they know that this back-and-forth would lead to years of increasingly creative ways to complain about customer service, culminating in the invention of Yelp reviews. Thanks, Verizon!. Fact: Verizon's idea of 'adequately paid' is like saying a hamster is 'adequately housed' in a shoebox. .
• Headline: Brazil's Economic Resurgence: A Global Magnet. Impact: The influx of money led to an inflation of cocktail prices, which eventually inspired the rise of DIY bar culture. Now, everyone thinks they can mix a Caipirinha at home, resulting in a global shortage of limes!. Fact: Brazil's economy got so popular that even the money started taking vacations. Seriously, it’s not unusual to find a $100 bill sunbathing in Copacabana..
• Headline: Al Qaeda's Deadly Toxin Plans Uncovered. Impact: In their quest for deadly concoctions, they inadvertently sparked a global interest in food safety and toxin awareness, leading to an era where people were more afraid of ricin in their food than gluten.. Fact: Ricin is so potent that just one bean can kill a human. Good luck explaining that to your next dinner party guest when they ask about the salad!.
• Headline: Looking Lost, Woods Takes Nearest Exit. Impact: Woods' decline set off a cascade of new golfing stars, each trying to fill the void, but it also led to millions of couch-dwelling armchair golfers thinking they could do better. Spoiler alert: they can't.. Fact: Tiger Woods has taken so many exits from tournaments that GPS devices now have a 'Woods Mode' to find the quickest route off the course..
• Headline: A County in Alabama Puts Off Bankruptcy. Impact: This decision sent shockwaves through state politics, leading to a series of questionable financial decisions over the years, culminating in a new reality show: 'Alabama's Got Debt!'. Fact: The best way to avoid bankruptcy is to just not talk about it. Much like a bad haircut, if you ignore it long enough, people will forget!.