AUGUST 9, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Fed's Strategies for Economic Uncertainty. Impact: The Fed's indecision led to a financial butterfly effect that caused a surge in the popularity of financial influencers on social media. Now, everyone thinks they’re a financial guru because they can regurgitate terms like 'quantitative easing' without actually knowing what it means.. Fact: The Federal Reserve's meetings are like a reality show—lots of drama, little transparency, and at the end of the season, nobody knows what actually happened..
• Headline: U.S. Government Sues For-Profit College Group. Impact: This lawsuit sent shockwaves through the for-profit education industry, leading to a sudden increase in the popularity of 'How to Avoid Fraud' seminars. Ironically, many attendees were recruited through questionable means.. Fact: For-profit colleges often boast a 100% acceptance rate, which is impressive until you realize they don’t actually tell you the dropout rate..
• Headline: Obama Counsels Calm, but No Deal Is in Sight. Impact: Obama’s calm advice was akin to sprinkling breadcrumbs on a raging river—everyone thought it would help, but they just got swept away by the current of partisan politics. This eventually led to the rise of meme culture in politics, where calm and rational discussions were replaced with cat videos.. Fact: The phrase 'calm down' has officially been declared the most useless advice ever given in political discourse..
• Headline: Behind S.&P.’s Downgrade, a Committee That Acts in Private. Impact: The secretive nature of the S.&P. committee led to a surge in amateur sleuths trying to decode financial decisions, which somehow culminated in a new genre of escape rooms themed around financial crises.. Fact: The S.&P. committee's private meetings are so confidential that even the members have to sign NDAs—because who wouldn't want to keep their bad financial decisions a secret?.