JULY 24, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tragedy at Camp: A Devastating Attack. Impact: This tragic event set off a series of debates about safety at youth camps, leading to stricter regulations. However, it also inspired a wave of overly cautious parents who now think sending kids to camp means a risk assessment form is more important than sunscreen.. Fact: Campers now carry more safety gear than astronauts—because apparently a marshmallow roast is just as dangerous as a spacewalk..
• Headline: Pakistan's Covert Surveillance of Diaspora. Impact: Pakistan's espionage tactics on its diaspora paved the way for a new era of paranoia, inspiring future generations to keep their family reunions secretive—because what's more fun than a family barbecue with a side of surveillance?. Fact: Being spied on by your own country is like a twisted version of 'Survivor'—with less tropical islands and more awkward Thanksgiving dinners..
• Headline: After Long Wait, Same-Sex Couples Marry in New York. Impact: The legalization of same-sex marriage in New York sparked a domino effect across the U.S., leading to weddings that are now more extravagant than royal ceremonies—because if you're going to celebrate love, you might as well do it with a unicorn-themed cake.. Fact: The first same-sex couple to marry in New York reported that the biggest challenge wasn't love, but finding a decent wedding venue that didn’t already have a waiting list longer than a DMV line..
• Headline: Rival Debt Plans Being Assembled by Party Leaders. Impact: The endless back-and-forth over debt plans showcased the political circus that is American governance, inspiring future generations to believe that negotiating is just another form of interpretative dance.. Fact: The only thing more consistent than political leaders arguing about money is the fact that you can always count on them to not have a plan, yet still manage to take a long lunch break..