JULY 13, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Netflix Price Hike Sparks Customer Outcry. Impact: When Netflix raised its prices, a group of disgruntled subscribers unknowingly formed a secret society dedicated to binge-watching in protest. This society later inspired a generation of couch potatoes who would go on to revolutionize the way streaming services operate, leading to the ultimate triumph of lazy entertainment over physical activity. Thanks, Netflix!. Fact: Did you know that Netflix originally started as a DVD rental service? Imagine explaining that to your kids one day while they stare at you like you're a dinosaur!.
• Headline: Bank of America’s Settlement Under Scrutiny. Impact: The questioning of Bank of America's mortgage deal sparked a chain reaction that led to the rise of online banking apps. This subsequently resulted in millennials considering 'going to the bank' as an ancient ritual akin to visiting a museum.. Fact: Fun fact: Bank of America once had a slogan, 'We're here for you.' Apparently, that meant 'We're here to take your money and question our own ethics.'.
• Headline: Hawass and the Fall of Egyptian Antiquities. Impact: The dimming of Zahi Hawass's star power led to a renaissance of amateur Egyptology enthusiasts who thought they could become the next Indiana Jones. Spoiler alert: they mostly became Instagram influencers instead, showcasing 'archaeological finds' like their brunches.. Fact: Zahi Hawass was so famous that he had more fans than some rock stars. Who knew a guy in a hat talking about mummies could outshine actual mummies?.
• Headline: Debt Talk Mired, Leader for G.O.P. Proposes Option. Impact: The GOP's endless debt talks paved the way for future generations to master the art of political procrastination. This ultimately inspired young adults everywhere to embrace the 'I'll do it tomorrow' mindset, whether it be with bills or laundry.. Fact: Did you know that politicians have been discussing debt limits since the dawn of time? In fact, the ancient Romans had a saying: 'We’ll get to it eventually,' which is basically the same thing!.