JUNE 22, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Understanding Budget Debates and Their Impact. Impact: The budget cuts were a butterfly flapping its wings, leading to a future where people start arguing over the color of the budget report instead of the content. Who knew a few paper cuts could lead to political infighting over the shade of beige? . Fact: Did you know that budgeting is just a fancy way of deciding which toys you can afford to break? Spoiler: It's usually the ones that cost the most..
• Headline: Bachmann's Political Awakening at Home. Impact: Bachmann’s political ambitions sparked a chain reaction, leading to a future where the phrase 'I got this idea from my childhood' became a legitimate campaign platform. Thanks, foster care system!. Fact: Did you know that the school system is where many politicians get their first taste of power? Just ask any kid who ever ran for class president on a 'free cookies' platform..
• Headline: Exploring Fresh Cane Distillates. Impact: The tasting of rums led to future generations believing that the key to solving world peace is just a well-stocked bar. If only international relations were as simple as pairing rum with the right mixer!. Fact: Did you know that the world’s oldest known cocktail is a rum-based drink? It’s called 'The Pirate's Regret'—you know, for all those poor choices made after a few too many..
• Headline: Cost of Wars a Rising Issue as Obama Weighs Troop Levels. Impact: Obama's troop level considerations led to a future where military budgets and economic policies are debated over brunch—because nothing says 'serious politics' like mimosas and avocado toast.. Fact: Did you know that the cost of war could actually fund universal healthcare? But that’s boring, so let’s just stick to spending on things that go boom instead!.
• Headline: For New Life, Blacks in City Head to South. Impact: The mass exodus of Black New Yorkers to the South caused a ripple effect that turned the South into the hipster capital of America, where even barbecue has its own artisanal twist. Who knew economic hardship could lead to a culinary renaissance?. Fact: Did you know that moving to the South is basically a rite of passage for Northerners? It’s like a trendy pilgrimage, but instead of spiritual enlightenment, you get sweet tea and mosquito bites..