JUNE 9, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Saudi Royal Funds Secure Temporary Stability. Impact: By buying peace with royal funds, Saudi Arabia inadvertently set off a chain reaction of other nations wondering if they could just throw money at their problems too. Spoiler: they couldn't, leading to an international crisis in budgeting and a sudden rise in financial advisors wearing flashy suits.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'money can't buy happiness' is often contradicted by royal families? They have the receipts!.
• Headline: Greece's Struggle for Debt Relief. Impact: Greece's debt plan flopped so spectacularly that it became the blueprint for future governments on how not to handle money. This inspired a generation of politicians to take 'creative accounting' to absurd new heights, eventually culminating in a reality show called 'Keeping Up with the Debt'.. Fact: Did you know that Greece, once the cradle of democracy, now has a debt plan that sounds like it was drafted by someone who just discovered credit cards?.
• Headline: Weiner's Online Political Misadventures. Impact: Anthony D. Weiner's online antics not only discredited him but also sparked a trend of politicians trying to connect with constituents through bizarrely inappropriate means, leading to a reality TV show called 'Political Tinder: Swipe Right for Reform'.. Fact: Did you know that Weiner's name has become synonymous with 'not knowing when to put your phone down'? It's a modern cautionary tale!.
• Headline: Fearing Assault, More Syrians Flee Into Turkey. Impact: As Syrians fled to Turkey, the world decided to increase its production of sad, heart-wrenching news stories. This led to a boom in humanitarian aid, and eventually, to an increase in the popularity of social media hashtags that everyone promptly forgot about after a week.. Fact: Did you know that fleeing your home due to fear is not a trend anyone wants to get behind? Unfortunately, it's become a common storyline in the 21st century..
• Headline: Apple Gives Publishers a Sales Break. Impact: Apple's decision to give publishers a sales break set off a domino effect of tech companies trying to sound generous, resulting in a new era of 'charity marketing' that confused consumers into thinking they were getting real deals instead of just slightly less awful ones.. Fact: Did you know that Apple giving a break to publishers is like a cat giving a mouse a head start? It's not exactly the charity of the year!.