JUNE 5, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Yemenis Celebrate Saleh's Departure for Treatment. Impact: The joyous moment in Yemen somehow led to a spike in celebratory falafel consumption, which, if you think about it, could have sparked a global trend for Middle Eastern cuisine. Who knew happiness was so delicious?. Fact: Did you know that falafel is considered the national dish of Israel, yet it’s also a popular street food in Yemen? Confusing culinary diplomacy at its finest.
• Headline: Violence Erupts at Syrian-Israeli Border. Impact: This tragic event encouraged future generations to rethink the concept of 'protest'—leading to an entire subculture of people who protest by sitting in coffee shops and tweeting about it instead. Progress?. Fact: Did you know that protests can sometimes lead to more protests? It’s like a never-ending cycle of discontent—kind of like your average family reunion.
• Headline: Drugs Show Promise Slowing Advanced Melanoma. Impact: The discovery of these drugs sent researchers on a wild goose chase for the next miracle cure, inadvertently creating a black market for 'hope' that made people suspicious of anything labeled as 'promising.'. Fact: Did you know that melanoma is not just a skin cancer but also the reason for some of the most awkward sunbathing conversations ever? 'Oh, you're not wearing sunscreen? Bold move!'.
• Headline: Steeper Pullout Is Raised as Option for Afghanistan. Impact: The talk of troop reductions led to endless debates about the effectiveness of military strategy, which eventually devolved into a popular trivia game called 'Guess Which War Is a Quagmire?' Spoiler: they all are. Fact: Did you know that troop withdrawals are often discussed like it's a game of musical chairs? Except in this version, nobody wants to be the last one standing.