MAY 30, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Innovative Retail Apps Resemble Magazines. Impact: If only retailers knew that their apps would eventually lead to people spending hours shopping online in their pajamas instead of interacting with humans... oh wait, they did.. Fact: The first app ever was a calculator. Imagine if we had just stopped there—no scrolling through endless catalogs of shoes!.
• Headline: Detroit Embraces Smaller Car Revolution. Impact: This shift to smaller cars eventually leads to a world where parking spaces are so tiny, drivers need a degree in Tetris to maneuver into them.. Fact: In a parallel universe, Detroit decided to focus on hovercrafts instead. Spoiler: it didn't end well..
• Headline: The Hunt for Ratko Mladic. Impact: Mladic's ability to evade capture may have inspired a generation of fugitives to rethink their hiding spots—no more basements, it's all about tiny homes now.. Fact: Mladic was such a master of disguise that he could probably have starred in a spy movie. Too bad the only role he played was 'Most Wanted.'.
• Headline: A Crackdown on Employing Illegal Workers. Impact: This crackdown probably led to a nationwide panic among employers, who suddenly had to remember they can't just hire anyone with a pulse and a questionable resume.. Fact: Before this, the most dangerous job in America was being a circus performer. Now, it’s just being a fast-food manager..
• Headline: Utah Law Makes Coins Worth Their Weight in Gold (or Silver). Impact: Encouraging transactions with gold and silver coins likely resulted in a resurgence of pirate-themed treasure hunts in suburban neighborhoods—arr matey, who needs a bank?. Fact: In the 1800s, people actually used gold as currency. Imagine that—no credit cards, no debt, just shiny rocks in your pocket!.