MAY 26, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Dreams Deferred: Immigrants in Spain. Impact: This mass migration led to the creation of the phrase 'the grass is always greener,' which ironically has become a popular slogan for lawn care commercials in Europe.. Fact: If only these immigrants had known that 'easy money' was actually a code for 'free camping in the woods,' they might have brought their own tents..
• Headline: Bronx Trial Exposes Ticket-Fixing Practices. Impact: This case has inspired a generation of cops who now believe they can get away with anything, as long as they say 'it's just a courtesy' enough times. Spoiler: it didn't work for the dinosaurs either.. Fact: Turns out, in the Bronx, courtesy is just another word for 'a ticket to nowhere.'.
• Headline: Obesity Linked to Sedentary Workplaces. Impact: As people continued to gain weight, the invention of the office chair was ironically the first step towards the rise of the hipster coffee shop—the ultimate place to work off those extra calories by drinking overpriced lattes.. Fact: Did you know that humans used to actually farm for food? Now we just farm for Wi-Fi..
• Headline: Serbia Says Jailed Mladic Will Face War Crimes Trial. Impact: The capture of Mladic shifted the narrative on war crimes, leading to the rise of countless 'true crime' podcasts, which ironically serve as entertainment while discussing real tragedies.. Fact: Mladic's trial could have been a reality show, 'War Crimes and Wi-Fi,' where contestants compete for justice while providing their own snacks..
• Headline: Two New York City Police Officers Acquitted of Rape. Impact: This case set a precedent that police officers could have a 'get out of jail free' card, creating a ripple effect that would later inspire reality TV shows about bad behavior.. Fact: In related news, the phrase 'innocent until proven guilty' is now commonly understood as 'innocent until the next season of your favorite show.'.