MAY 22, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: U.S. Vigilance at Soviet Nuclear Legacy. Impact: If the U.S. hadn't stepped in to guard the nuclear debris, we might have a few rogue nations trying to recreate the Soviet Union's nuclear magic. Who knows, maybe the next global superpower would be run by a cat meme-loving dictator.. Fact: Did you know that the Soviets once detonated over 400 nuclear bombs underground? Talk about a not-so-subtle way to say 'we're serious about our borders!'.
• Headline: Men's Mental Health: An Urgent Discussion. Impact: This headline could lead to a future where men are forced to attend support groups in secret coffee shops, only to bond over their shared inability to find therapists. The rise of the 'Man Cry Club' could be imminent.. Fact: Interestingly, the phrase 'A Good Man Is Hard to Find' was first popularized by Flannery O'Connor. Perhaps she was just trying to warn us about the impending male therapist shortage?.
• Headline: Obama Presses Israel to Make ‘Hard Choices’. Impact: This plea for hard choices could lead to an alternate timeline where global leaders start making choices based on reality TV drama instead of diplomacy. 'Survivor: Middle East Relations' would be a hit!. Fact: The idea of land swaps has been around longer than you think. It’s almost as if politicians are playing a game of Monopoly, but nobody ever lands on 'Free Parking.'.