MAY 10, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Controversial Polara Golf Ball. Impact: The illegal golf ball sparked a movement for 'cheater's golf', eventually leading to underground golf tournaments where the only rule was to not get caught. This bizarre subculture gave rise to a new slang: 'dimples for the devil'.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more illegal than this golf ball is the amount of time people spend arguing about the rules of golf? Seriously, it's like watching paint dry—if the paint were also very angry..
• Headline: Narrowing Friend Circles Online. Impact: Social networks' shift to smaller friend groups led to a dramatic rise in 'friend dumping'—the act of eliminating friends who post too many cat videos. This eventually influenced the invention of the unfollow button, which changed the social landscape forever.. Fact: Fun fact: Before social networks, people had to actually talk to their friends in person. Imagine that—face-to-face conversations! The horror!.
• Headline: Gingrich's Presidential Run with Callista's Support. Impact: Gingrich's campaign with Callista as a sidekick opened the floodgates for political spouses to become full-fledged campaign mascots, leading to future elections where pets and toddlers would also run for office due to their undeniable cuteness.. Fact: Did you know that Newt Gingrich once suggested that the moon should be colonized? Just imagine the campaign slogans: 'Gingrich for Moon President—because Earth is so last century!'.
• Headline: U.S. Was Braced for Fight With Pakistanis in Bin Laden Raid. Impact: The U.S. preparation for conflict during the Bin Laden raid set a precedent for over-preparing in future operations, leading to the creation of an entire industry dedicated to 'what if' scenarios—think of it as the military's version of a paranoid conspiracy theorist.. Fact: Here's a fun fact: The raid on Bin Laden’s compound was so secretive that even the local squirrels were given a gag order. Those little guys have some serious loyalty..
• Headline: Westchester Towns Take Hit From Rise in Tax Appeals. Impact: The rise in tax appeals in Westchester led to a new trend where homeowners started organizing 'tax appeal parties', turning financial distress into social events. This eventually evolved into the wildly popular 'Financial Crisis Brunch'.. Fact: Did you know that property taxes are basically just a really sophisticated way of saying, 'We need your money to pay for things you never use'? It's like paying for a gym membership while sitting on your couch!.