APRIL 3, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Heart Implant Market Influence Revealed. Impact: If this little-known company didn't charm cardiologists, we might all be walking around with medieval bloodletting devices instead of heart implants. Just imagine the Renaissance Fair vibe in hospitals!. Fact: Consultants in medicine are like the secret menu at a restaurant—everyone knows about them, but no one talks about how they can change everything..
• Headline: Congress Faces Critical Budget Decisions. Impact: This budget battle could lead to the invention of a new sport: Congressional Tug-of-War, where lawmakers fight for cash while trying not to fall into the abyss of fiscal irresponsibility.. Fact: Congressional budget negotiations are like watching paint dry, but the paint is on fire and everyone is arguing about whose fault it is..
• Headline: Still Running, Still Stunning. Impact: If Jim Calhoun wins, we could see a spike in retired coaches trying to stage comebacks, leading to a bizarre new reality show called 'Comeback Coaches: The Oldies & The Goldies.'. Fact: Winning three national championships makes you a legend, but winning three national championships while yelling at players could get you a statue in the Hall of Fame—or a spot on a reality show..