MARCH 24, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Escalating Drug Wars in Central America. Impact: As drug syndicates expanded into Central America, they inadvertently created a booming market for avocado toast among hipsters, who now use guacamole as a symbol of their rebellion against adulting. Who knew crime could lead to brunch culture?. Fact: Did you know that avocado toast is now considered a significant contributor to millennials’ inability to buy homes? Thanks, drug wars!.
• Headline: Google Faces Setback in Book Settlement. Impact: Google's failure to secure a book publishing settlement might just have led to an increase in self-published novels about cats. Thanks to the internet, kittens are now the unofficial mascots of literary frustration.. Fact: Did you know that for every rejected settlement, there are at least 10 more terrible self-help books being published? Google might have just dodged a bullet..
• Headline: Reviving Controversies Over Nuclear Waste Management. Impact: The nuclear crisis in Japan reignited debates over spent fuel, ultimately leading to an unexpected boom in Instagram accounts dedicated to the art of radioactive selfies. Because why not mix danger with social media?. Fact: Did you know that Yucca Mountain was originally proposed as a tourist destination? Imagine the gift shop: 'Get your radioactive keychains here!'.
• Headline: Shady Dealings Helped Qaddafi Build Fortune and Regime. Impact: Qaddafi's shady dealings not only fortified his regime but also inspired countless Hollywood scripts about corrupt dictators, paving the way for a whole genre of 'based on a true story' films that audiences pretend to take seriously.. Fact: Did you know that kickbacks in Libya were so common, they almost became the national sport? If only they had a reality show!.
• Headline: A Mother’s Love, Unrequited. Impact: Kate Winslet's role in 'Mildred Pierce' may have revived interest in classic literature, leading to a sudden surge in book clubs where members pretend to read while actually just sipping wine and discussing their last binge-watch.. Fact: Did you know that 'Mildred Pierce' was actually a recipe from the 1930s for a really sad dessert? Spoiler: it involves heartbreak and lots of whipped cream..