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HEADLINES ON March 11, 2011
Full News Archive
- Headline: Wisconsin's Pension Funding Challenges. Impact: If only states had realized that underfunding pensions would lead to a nationwide panic about retirement savings, we might have seen a mass exodus of workers to alternative careers like 'professional cat video curator' sooner.. Fact: Did you know that pension plans are like the long-lost relatives of your budget? You can ignore them, but they always come knocking when you least expect it!.
- Headline: Lawmakers Under Fire in Terror Hearing. Impact: This hearing marks the beginning of the 'Blame Game Olympics', where politicians earn gold medals in finger-pointing while accomplishing absolutely nothing.. Fact: Fun fact: The legal term 'passing the buck' was originally coined during poker games among politicians. Just kidding, but it should've been!.
- Headline: J.&J. Unit's Plant Oversight Agreement Reached. Impact: This deal was the equivalent of letting a toddler have a cookie after they broke the vase. Spoiler alert: the next vase is probably on the chopping block too.. Fact: Did you know that Johnson & Johnson was once known for its baby powder? Now it’s more like ‘baby future lawsuits.’.
- Headline: Start-Ups Are in a Rush to Bring the Chat Room to the Smartphone. Impact: This sparked the great 'Chat Room Revolution,' leading to countless awkward conversations about nothing and the birth of the emoji, which now serves as an entire language.. Fact: Did you know that 'chat rooms' were originally just called 'rooms'? Then someone realized people would rather type than talk... and here we are!.
- Headline: Powerful Quake and Tsunami Devastate Northern Japan. Impact: The aftermath of this tragedy not only reshaped Japan’s disaster response protocols but also inspired a global movement toward earthquake preparedness, proving that sometimes it takes devastation to spark change.. Fact: Did you know that Japan has some of the strictest building codes in the world? This was due to previous earthquakes, but it seems like they still need to up their game!.
Wall Street Time Machine
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NVIDIA
NVIDIA - If you invested $1,000 in 2011, it would be worth $480,243 today (480.2x return)