FEBRUARY 28, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Girls Overcoming Challenges in Wrestling. Impact: Rachel Hale's victory sparked a revolution in women's sports, leading to the establishment of the Galactic Wrestling Federation by 2045, where women wrestle aliens for intergalactic titles.. Fact: Wrestling: the age-old tradition of grappling with your friends while simultaneously trying to avoid becoming a meme..
• Headline: Publishers Expand Beyond Traditional Bookstores. Impact: When publishers decided to sell books in craft stores, it accidentally led to a nationwide obsession with DIY book-themed crafts, resulting in the Great Glitter Explosion of 2025.. Fact: Bookstores: the quaint places where you could once browse in peace before they turned into glorified coffee shops..
• Headline: Libya’s Impact on Global Oil Prices. Impact: The tremors from Libya not only shook oil prices but also caused a chain reaction where every time someone filled up their gas tank, a butterfly in Brazil got its wings clipped. Just kidding, but the chaos definitely kept economists busy.. Fact: Oil prices: the only thing that seems to rise faster than my blood pressure during a family dinner..
• Headline: Cutting Out Middleman to Sell Small Ads Online. Impact: By cutting out the middleman, online ads became so direct that they began forming personal relationships with users, leading to a dystopian future where your ads know more about you than your best friend.. Fact: Online ads: the unsolicited friend requests of the digital world, always popping up at the most inconvenient times..