FEBRUARY 20, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rhesus Macaques and Obesity Research. Impact: If Rhesus macaques had a say, they might just demand a reality show titled 'The Real Housemacaques of Oregon'. Their sedentary lifestyle could have inspired a global trend of couch potato culture, leading to the invention of 'couch surfing' as a legitimate sport.. Fact: Did you know that Rhesus macaques are actually more active than most college students during finals week? Seems like they have their priorities straight..
• Headline: Republican Strategies for 2012 Primaries. Impact: The 2012 Republican nomination race turned into a high-stakes game of budgetary musical chairs, where no one wanted to be the last one standing without a plan. Spoiler alert: the music never really stopped.. Fact: It’s amusing how politicians can debate deficits while also managing to rack up their own ‘personal’ debts—like the one for that luxury yacht they 'really needed' for campaign purposes..
• Headline: In a Town Built Upon Patronage, a Test of Egypt’s New Order. Impact: Egypt's revolution could be likened to a very messy breakup, where the new order is desperately trying to avoid the pitfalls of a toxic relationship with patronage. Spoiler: they still have a few trust issues to work through.. Fact: In Egypt, the term 'new order' is just a euphemism for 'let's try not to screw this up again'—because history loves a good irony..
• Headline: Qaddafi’s Son Warns of Civil War as Libyan Protests Widen. Impact: Qaddafi's son throwing around threats of civil war could be seen as an early warning sign that the family business was about to crumble, leading to widespread instability in the region. I mean, who doesn’t love a good family feud on a national scale?. Fact: Civil wars often come with a side of irony; Qaddafi’s son warning against Western colonization while his family was literally ruling through colonial tactics. Classic case of 'do as I say, not as I do'..