FEBRUARY 13, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Deadly Drug Interactions Among Troops. Impact: The medical community's quest to treat war-related trauma turns into an apocalyptic cocktail party, where the wrong mix could lead to a new generation of 'survivors' who are too busy battling side effects to actually heal.. Fact: Did you know that mixing medications is not just a health hazard but also a great way to ensure your doctor gets a nice vacation from all the lawsuits?.
• Headline: Egypt's Unique Post-Uprising Trajectory. Impact: Egypt’s revolution becomes a cautionary tale for future uprisings, leading to a global conspiracy where every protester now has a 'How not to be Iran' handbook—ironically written by a committee of armchair activists.. Fact: Fun fact: The difference between Egypt and Iran post-revolution is like comparing a cozy coffee shop to a high-intensity political debate—one serves lattes, the other serves chaos..
• Headline: Justice Thomas' Silence Marks Milestone. Impact: Justice Thomas's silence inspires a new generation of Supreme Court justices who believe that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all—leading to the quietest court in history.. Fact: Did you know that the last time Justice Thomas spoke, it was so shocking that they had to install a 'mute' button on the bench just in case?.
• Headline: Egyptian Military Dissolves Parliament. Impact: The military's decision sends shockwaves through the region, creating a domino effect where other nations start considering 'military intervention' as the new form of democratic progress.. Fact: Did you know that dissolving a parliament is a lot like canceling a dinner party? It might feel good in the moment, but you’re not getting those guests back anytime soon..