FEBRUARY 12, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Pentagon Boosts Buy Ratings for Contractors. Impact: The Pentagon's endorsement of contractors sparked an arms race that somehow led to a reality TV show about military strategy. We're now living in a world where generals are judged on their tactical prowess and their ability to catch an enemy off-guard while looking fabulous.. Fact: If military spending were a diet, the Pentagon would be the friend who always orders the entire dessert menu. #Priorities.
• Headline: Xoloitzcuintli: The Unique Show Dog Revival. Impact: The resurgence of the Xoloitzcuintli led to a bizarre trend where dog shows inadvertently became a platform for discussing beauty standards, prompting countless debates about the aesthetics of canines vs. humans. Spoiler alert: it got messy.. Fact: The Xoloitzcuintli is also known as the Mexican Hairless Dog. So, technically, it’s the only breed that can take 'bad hair day' to a whole new level..
• Headline: Navigating a New Era in Egypt. Impact: Egypt's regime change triggered a chain reaction of uprisings across the Middle East, leading to a hip new trend in hashtags that make absolutely no sense unless you're deeply entrenched in geopolitics. Thanks, social media!. Fact: The phrase 'the only constant is change' was probably invented by a historian watching Egypt's political scene unfold. A solid reminder that stability is overrated..
• Headline: Have Faith, Lose Weight. But First, Candy.. Impact: This church's strategy of mixing faith with weight loss inspired a new wave of religious fitness programs, leading to a bizarre cult of followers who believe working out is a divine command. Just wait until they start offering holy protein shakes.. Fact: The phrase 'spiritual gains' has never been so literal. Next, they'll be preaching from the treadmill about the seven deadly sins of snacking..