JANUARY 24, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: MTV's Controversial Reality Show Incident. Impact: The fallout from MTV's ill-fated nudity experiment led to a decade-long debate about media responsibility, ultimately resulting in the invention of the 'clothed reality show', which simply involved people wearing clothes while engaging in the same ridiculous antics. Who knew pants could save humanity?. Fact: Did you know that MTV's ratings actually went up after they introduced fully clothed programs? Apparently, people prefer their teenage drama with a side of fabric..
• Headline: The Understudy Takes the Stage at Apple. Impact: Timothy D. Cook's ascension to the big chair at Apple led to a series of product launches that would eventually make people feel underwhelmed by their devices. If only Jobs had left behind a guide that read: 'When in doubt, just add more pixels.'. Fact: Did you know that Cook's first major product was the Apple Watch? Because nothing says 'I'm the future of technology' like a device that reminds you to get off the couch..
• Headline: LA Times Struggles with Local Influence. Impact: The decline of the Los Angeles Times sparked a nationwide trend of newspapers realizing that people would rather scroll on their phones than read about local news. Thus began the era of clickbait headlines and lists of '10 Reasons Why Your Cat Might Be An Alien'.. Fact: Did you know that losing half its circulation didn’t stop the LA Times from trying to stay relevant? They even considered doing a special edition with only cat memes..
• Headline: F.D.A. Is Studying the Risk of Electroshock Devices. Impact: The FDA's study on electroshock therapy led to a resurgence of alternative mental health treatments, from crystals to essential oils, proving once and for all that the power of suggestion is stronger than science. Who needs facts when you've got a good lavender scent?. Fact: Did you know that electroshock therapy has been used for over 70 years? It’s like the grandparent of mental health treatments—still around, but nobody talks about it at family gatherings..
• Headline: Art Exhibit Stirs Up the Ghosts of Zimbabwe’s Past. Impact: The art exhibit's revival of Zimbabwe's historical traumas led to an unexpected wave of international empathy and support, which, while noble, also resulted in countless social media hashtags that no one actually understood.. Fact: Did you know that 'Gukurahundi' translates to 'the early rain which washes away the chaff before the spring rains'? Which is a poetic way of saying, 'Let’s not talk about this ever again.'.