JANUARY 11, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Chrysler's Bold New Era Begins. Impact: Chrysler's resurgence sparked a bizarre automotive rivalry that led to the invention of self-driving cars that only play 80s hair metal. Thanks a lot, Fiat.. Fact: Did you know Chrysler once made a car that could run on water? Oh wait, that was just a rumor spread by someone who really liked their aquariums..
• Headline: Judges Criticize Bank Lawyers' Foreclosure Practices. Impact: The judges' berating of bank lawyers created a new legal trend where lawyers started to wear helmets to protect themselves from paper cuts. Safety first, right?. Fact: Did you know that in the world of law, 'shoddy paperwork' is actually a term of endearment? It's like saying someone has a 'unique approach' to document management..
• Headline: In Giffords’s District, a Long History of Tension. Impact: The polarization in Giffords's district led to a bizarre reality TV show called 'Politicians Gone Wild,' where they argue over who can create the most absurd policy.. Fact: Did you know that Arizona is known for its beautiful deserts and intense political drama? It's like a soap opera, but with more cactus..
• Headline: In Detroit, Toyota Vows to Earn Trust. Impact: Toyota's promise to earn trust resulted in a bizarre cult phenomenon where consumers started worshiping their cars, leading to a new religion called 'Autoism.'. Fact: Did you know that Akio Toyoda is actually the most popular name among baby cars? It's like a baby boom but for vehicles. Start the car daycare!.