JANUARY 5, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: True Grit's Impact on the Oscars Debate. Impact: If ‘True Grit’ wins an Oscar, it sends ripples through Hollywood that result in a decade of Westerns reboots. Because nothing says creativity like remaking the same stories over and over again, right?. Fact: Did you know that every time a Western gets remade, a film school grad cries? It’s true, look it up!.
• Headline: Revolutionizing DNA Sequencing for Everyone. Impact: Rothberg's DNA sequencing revolution leads to a future where everyone knows exactly what they’re allergic to and how many times they've been cloned in alternate universes. Spoiler alert: it's always three.. Fact: Fun fact: DNA sequencing is so popular now that even your pet goldfish probably has a 23andMe account. Just kidding—goldfish can't read the results..
• Headline: Turkey's Rising Influence in Iraq. Impact: Turkey's flexing its muscles leads to a regional wrestling match that becomes an Olympic event, forever altering the way we view competitive sports and international relations.. Fact: Did you know that Turkey is not just a tasty Thanksgiving meal but also a geopolitical heavyweight? Who knew stuffing could be so multifaceted?.
• Headline: G.O.P. Asks Businesses Which Rules to Rewrite. Impact: The G.O.P. asking businesses which rules to rewrite leads to a dystopian future where companies rewrite the Constitution, resulting in a nation where 'free refills' is a basic human right.. Fact: Did you know that asking businesses to rewrite rules is the political equivalent of letting kids design their own homework? Spoiler: it never ends well..
• Headline: Budget Hawk Eyes Deficit. Impact: Gov. Daniels’ vision of small government inspires future politicians to make it even smaller, leading to a world where citizens have to negotiate for basic services over coffee. ‘I’ll give you my vote for a clean street!’. Fact: Did you know that 'small government' is basically code for 'let's see how little we can do for you'? It's the ultimate game of hide and seek!.