JANUARY 3, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: 3-D Graphics Revive Portable Gaming Industry. Impact: If Nintendo hadn't brought 3-D to portable gaming, we might still be playing Snake on our flip phones, leading to an alternate timeline where people actually socialize face-to-face instead of through screens. Scary thought, right?. Fact: Did you know that the first handheld gaming device was the Nintendo Game Boy? It was so popular that it made parents consider getting their kids a second one just to stop them from fighting over it!.
• Headline: Giants Win but Need More Help. Impact: The Giants winning but getting no help was like a cosmic joke, leading to an infinite loop of disappointment for fans. This set a precedent for all future sports seasons where hope is perpetually dashed. Thanks, universe!. Fact: Did you know that the Bears and Packers rivalry is one of the oldest in the NFL? It’s almost as old as the disappointment of Giants fans when their team can’t catch a break!.
• Headline: Preserving Iraq's Ancient Babylonian Legacy. Impact: The efforts to save Babylon sparked a global obsession with ancient ruins, leading to a dramatic increase in tourists and Instagram influencers posing in front of crumbling walls. Who knew ancient history could be so... photogenic?. Fact: Did you know that Babylon was once one of the largest cities in the world? It had hanging gardens, which were so impressive that they made other cities feel insecure about their landscaping!.
• Headline: Columbia Pictures Hopes to End Oscar Drought. Impact: Columbia's potential Oscar win could have altered the trajectory of film production, leading to a world where mediocre movies were celebrated more than ever. Thanks, Facebook, for inspiring a generation of 'good enough' films!. Fact: Did you know that 'The Social Network' was so popular that it made Mark Zuckerberg a household name? Ironically, it also made everyone want to unfollow him on Facebook!.