JANUARY 2, 2011

Full News Archive

• Headline: Outcry Against Public Worker Unions Rising. Impact: Public outrage over budget crises led to the invention of the world's first 'Anger Translator' app, which hilariously misinterpreted citizens' frustrations into cute cat memes, distracting everyone from actual political action.. Fact: Fun fact: The average public worker now has a better chance of being misunderstood than a toddler explaining a temper tantrum..
• Headline: The Tragic Legacy of Staff Sgt. Senft. Impact: The lonely death of Staff Sgt. David Senft triggered a wave of military reforms, but also inspired a gripping yet ultimately unsuccessful reality TV show called 'Army Life: The Lonely Soldier Edition.'. Fact: It's a somber fact that some military deaths could have been prevented, reminding us that while we can send people to the moon, we still struggle with basic human care..
• Headline: Computers That See You and Keep Watch Over You. Impact: The rise of computerized surveillance systems led to a bizarre dystopia where people started naming their surveillance cameras, ultimately resulting in a national pet naming contest for inanimate objects.. Fact: Did you know that the first computer that watched over you was actually a toaster? It just didn't care enough to alert anyone when it burned the toast..
• Headline: G.O.P. Newcomers Set Out to Undo Obama Victories. Impact: The G.O.P. newcomers' efforts to undo Obama’s victories sparked the creation of the now-infamous 'Reversal Olympics,' where politicians compete to flip-flop on issues faster than an Olympic gymnast.. Fact: Did you know that political promises are like New Year's resolutions? Everyone makes them, but very few actually stick..