DECEMBER 4, 2010

Full News Archive

• Headline: Injury at 'Spider-Man' Preview Performance. Impact: If only that rope had been more secure, we might have avoided a future where superhero movies are entirely CGI, and actors just sit at home playing video games instead of risking head injuries. Thanks a lot, rope!. Fact: Did you know that ropes have feelings too? Just kidding! But seriously, let's hope they get some therapy after this incident..
• Headline: Vibrant Art Sales at Basel Miami. Impact: Art Basel Miami's revival might just be the catalyst for a future where everyone starts investing in abstract paintings of soup cans, making us all rich… or broke if we forget to pay our rent. Who knew art could be such a financial rollercoaster?. Fact: Did you know that 'art' is just a fancy term for 'stuff people hang on their walls that costs more than your car'?.
• Headline: Judging The Bodies In Ballet. Impact: The discussion around ballet dancer bodies could lead to a world where every dancer is forced to conform to an unrealistic ideal, or perhaps inspire a revolution of 'ballet for all' where the only requirement is showing up in stretchy pants. Who knew weight could be so controversial?. Fact: Did you know that in ballet, the only weight that truly matters is the weight of one's expectations? And they are usually too heavy to lift!.
• Headline: Budget-Cutting Colleges Bid Some Languages Adieu. Impact: The decline of foreign language programs in colleges might just result in an entire generation of graduates who can’t order anything other than a burger in a foreign country. Imagine the diplomatic incidents over misunderstood menu items!. Fact: Did you know that learning a new language is like unlocking a new level in life? Too bad colleges seem to think that hitting the 'snooze' button is the way to go!.