NOVEMBER 28, 2010

Full News Archive

• Headline: Ex-Justice Condemns Death Penalty. Impact: If only Justice Stevens had been a time traveler, he could have seen how his criticism would inspire a future where politicians argue about the death penalty while clutching their pearls in horror at the thought of actual justice.. Fact: Justice Stevens' dissent on the death penalty has been more relevant than ever—it's like he predicted a reality TV show about justice gone wrong!.
• Headline: War Machines: The Future of Combat Robotics. Impact: The recruitment of robots for combat may have led to a future where humans are left with only one job: arguing with their smart fridges about how to make a decent sandwich.. Fact: Fun fact: The first robot recruits were actually programmed to serve coffee, but they accidentally started a war instead. Oops!.
• Headline: Lost Boy Returns for Sudan Referendum. Impact: The referendum in Sudan was like a butterfly flapping its wings; it caused a storm of new nations being formed, each one wondering why they didn’t just stick to Netflix and chill instead of splitting countries.. Fact: Joseph Gatyoung Khan's homecoming could have been a reality show: 'Lost Boy: Home Again,' but sadly, no one was ready for that much emotional baggage!.
• Headline: China Seeks Talks to Ease Korean Tension. Impact: China's call for talks could be seen as the moment when global leaders decided that instead of swords, they would wield microphones. Because nothing says 'let's resolve conflict' like a good old-fashioned debate!. Fact: Fun fact: The last time six nations tried to talk it out, they ended up planning a barbecue instead. No peace was made, but the ribs were delicious!.
• Headline: Europe Approves Irish Rescue and New Rules on Bailouts. Impact: The bailout approval was a pivotal moment; it led to countless finance ministers being treated like rock stars at conferences, with fans asking for selfies instead of solutions.. Fact: In an ironic twist, the money from the bailout was supposed to save economies but instead funded a series of viral cat videos that brought the world together in laughter!.