NOVEMBER 27, 2010

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Truth Behind Liar Loans. Impact: The rise of liar loans led to a financial crisis that made everyone question their trust issues, ultimately resulting in a generation of people who refuse to take anything at face value, including their own reflection.. Fact: Liar loans are like a bad Tinder date: they look good on paper, but when you meet them in person, it's a total disaster..
• Headline: Newton's Record-Breaking Comeback Victory. Impact: Cam Newton's comeback win not only secured his legacy but also inspired countless underdogs everywhere to believe that they too could rise from a 24-point deficit—unless, of course, they were trying to get a loan.. Fact: This game was so iconic that even the Alabama fans are still trying to figure out how to rewrite history to make it look like they weren't there..
• Headline: The Allure and Risks of Bingo Culture. Impact: As bingo popularity waned, the obsession with it led to the birth of other quirky games, thus paving the way for the rise of bizarre sports like competitive duck herding. You're welcome, world.. Fact: Bingo is the only game where you can yell at strangers in public and not get arrested—unless you call 'BINGO!' too loudly after the game has ended..
• Headline: New Jersey’s Tiniest Towns Fight Push to Merge. Impact: The resistance of New Jersey's tiniest towns to merging sparked a fierce debate about identity and community, ultimately leading to the creation of the 'Small Towns Matter' movement, which is about as effective as a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest.. Fact: New Jersey has so many tiny towns that they could host a reality show called 'Real Housewives of Teterboro'—ratings would be through the roof!.
• Headline: Pat-Downs: Enhanced but Hardly Thorough. Impact: The failure of enhanced security pat-downs to actually detect threats led to the development of even more elaborate security measures, which ultimately resulted in the invention of the 'Cloak of Invisibility'—still in beta testing.. Fact: Pat-downs are proof that you can be thoroughly searched without anyone really knowing if they found anything; it's like a high-stakes game of hide and seek..