NOVEMBER 3, 2010

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tea Party's Rise to Political Influence. Impact: The Tea Party’s unclear mandate set off a chain reaction where every political movement since has felt the need to adopt a vague name and an even vaguer agenda. Welcome to modern politics, where clarity goes to die!. Fact: Did you know that the original Boston Tea Party was a protest against taxation without representation? If only they’d known that it would lead to such a muddled mess of political parties in the future!.
• Headline: Republican Victories Reshape Political Landscape. Impact: The stark turn of the tide led to a reality where politicians began to fear their own shadows, resulting in an unprecedented rise in shadow puppetry as a form of political expression. Who knew politics could become so theatrical?. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'the tide turns' was first used by sailors? Guess that means politicians are just as lost at sea as ever!.
• Headline: Cuomo Cruises to Win in New York Governor’s Race. Impact: Cuomo's comeback created a blueprint for future political resurrections, inspiring countless politicians to stage dramatic returns. Unfortunately, it also meant that reality TV stars began thinking they could run, leading to the current state of affairs.. Fact: Did you know that Andrew Cuomo once said, 'I’m not a politician; I’m a public servant'? Apparently, the definition of 'public servant' has changed drastically over the years!.
• Headline: Harry Reid Keeps His Seat as Democrats Hold Senate. Impact: Harry Reid's Senate retention sparked an era where politicians began to view their seats as personal thrones, leading to a bizarre trend of Senate chambers being decorated like medieval castles. Knights of the Round Table, anyone?. Fact: Did you know that Harry Reid was once a boxer? Perhaps he should have put on the gloves for this election instead of just throwing punches at his opponents!.