SEPTEMBER 29, 2010

Full News Archive

• Headline: U.S. Aims to Divest from A.I.G.. Impact: If the U.S. had successfully severed ties with A.I.G., it might have led to a world where insurance companies were more like friendly neighborhood watch groups rather than financial black holes, possibly preventing the 2008 financial crisis—or causing it in a parallel universe where everyone decided to invest in beanie babies instead.. Fact: A.I.G. once had a division that sold insurance for alien abductions. Talk about high-risk investments!.
• Headline: Italy's Renewable Energy Revolution. Impact: The shift towards renewable energy in Italy could inspire a global movement, leading to a future where people are powered entirely by the wind, and perhaps even creating a new Olympic sport: Extreme Wind Surfing on Land.. Fact: Italy is famous for its pizza and pasta, but who knew it could also become the 'Windy City' of renewable energy?.
• Headline: Arm’s-Length Soul Mates, Swooning but Stoically Chaste. Impact: The success of 'Brief Encounter' could have led to a renaissance of romantic stagecraft, where future generations of playwrights would feel compelled to stretch the limits of love stories, possibly resulting in a bizarre trend of acrobatic romances featuring flying trapeze artists.. Fact: The play is so enchanting that it could probably make even a toaster seem romantic if you squint hard enough..
• Headline: Barnes & Noble Wins Battle Over Board. Impact: Barnes & Noble's board battle might have paved the way for a future where booksellers are more concerned with corporate warfare than actually selling books, creating a dystopian future where people barter novels like they’re rare trading cards.. Fact: Barnes & Noble's stock price fluctuates more than a teenager's mood during finals week..