SEPTEMBER 16, 2010

Full News Archive

• Headline: Yankees Caps: A Criminal Fashion Statement. Impact: If only those criminals had chosen a different hat, perhaps the entire New York fashion scene would have pivoted to berets, revolutionizing both crime and haute couture. Who knew a simple cap could derail an entire sartorial movement?. Fact: Did you know that wearing a Yankees cap while committing a crime doesn't actually grant you immunity, but it does make for some epic police chase footage?.
• Headline: Hungarian Town Faces Coal Industry Challenges. Impact: The coal industry's decline in Europe could potentially lead to an influx of coal miners entering the hipster coffee scene, forever changing the way we drink lattes. After all, nothing says 'artisanal' like a barista with soot on their hands.. Fact: Fun fact: Hungary's struggle is so intense that you might think they were auditioning for a new reality show called 'Survivor: Coal Edition.'.
• Headline: Paladino's Primary Win Shakes Up New York Race. Impact: Paladino's unpredictable spending spree could lead to a future where campaign financing is akin to a high-stakes poker game, complete with dramatic bluffs and questionable decisions. Who knew democracy could be so entertaining?. Fact: Did you know that spending in politics is like dieting? The more you try to control it, the more it spirals out of control and ends with a pizza party?.
• Headline: Rebel Republican Marching On, With Baggage. Impact: O'Donnell's rise may spark a future where all politicians are required to have a quirky backstory, leading to a world where every campaign is a bizarre mix of soap opera and stand-up comedy. Get your popcorn ready!. Fact: Fun fact: Delaware has more strange political antics per capita than any other state. Who needs reality TV when you have state politics?.