AUGUST 30, 2010

Full News Archive

• Headline: Viktor Bout and the Secrets of Arms Trade. Impact: If Viktor Bout had not bargained with his secrets, it's possible that we would still be blissfully unaware of the vast criminal networks lurking just under our noses. Thanks, Viktor! In a way, you might have saved us from a few awkward dinner conversations about international arms deals.. Fact: Viktor Bout was once nicknamed the 'Merchant of Death.' Sounds like a title straight out of a bad action movie, right? Spoiler alert: he didn't get the sequel..
• Headline: Kuchar Wins Barclays in Dramatic Playoff. Impact: Matt Kuchar's playoff victory might have inspired the creation of a new golf club that specializes in making putts when it really matters. This could lead to the next generation of golfers who think they can putt their way out of any situation, including relationships.. Fact: Kuchar's last name sounds like the perfect term for a club sandwich. Just imagine ordering a 'Kuchar' at a golf course café. They’d probably serve it with a side of disappointment!.
• Headline: Bernanke Sets Realistic Expectations for Recovery. Impact: Bernanke managing expectations for the Fed's role perhaps led to every future economist feeling they could also manage expectations about their love lives: 'Sorry, I can’t conjure up a partner just like the economy!'. Fact: Ben Bernanke once had a pet goldfish named 'Inflation.' It swam in circles, much like the economy on a bad day!.
• Headline: Risk-Taking Rises as Oil Rigs in Gulf Drill Deeper. Impact: The oil industry's deepening risk-taking may have opened the door for environmental disasters that inadvertently led to the rise of eco-warriors. Thanks to the Gulf, we have more 'Save the Whales' T-shirts than ever before!. Fact: Deepwater Horizon was a disaster so big it made 'Titanic' look like a romantic comedy. Spoiler: the oil didn't find love at the bottom of the ocean..