AUGUST 3, 2010

Full News Archive

• Headline: Pushback Against Hollywood's 3-D Revolution. Impact: Had Hollywood listened to the resistance, we might have avoided a future where virtual reality is the new mainstream, and audiences are trapped in cinematic simulations of cats in space. Thanks, but no thanks, 3-D.. Fact: Fun fact: not even the most enthusiastic cat lovers can save a bad 3-D movie. Just ask the poor souls who watched 'Cats' in 3-D!.
• Headline: Audio Pioneer Acquires Newsweek Magazine. Impact: When a 91-year-old audio pioneer buys a major news outlet, it sets off a chain reaction leading to the era of podcasts narrated by retirement home residents. You know, for that fresh perspective.. Fact: Did you know that Sidney Harman was also known for inventing audio equipment that could drown out bad news? Seems he finally found a way to own it!.
• Headline: Hungary Blames Central Bank for Crisis. Impact: Hungary's finger-pointing at its central bank might just inspire future leaders everywhere to blame inanimate objects for their failures, leading to a world where no one takes responsibility for anything—except maybe the weather.. Fact: Did you know that if you blame your problems on the weather, you can get out of almost any awkward conversation? Just ask a Hungarian politician!.
• Headline: Punishing Citi, or Its Shareholders?. Impact: Citi’s punishment might have sparked a new trend in corporate penalties, leading to a future where companies just pass fines down to their shareholders like they're hot potatoes. Enjoy that financial burn!. Fact: Fun fact: the phrase 'shareholders are the real victims' is now officially the most used excuse in corporate America. It's practically a Hallmark card!.
• Headline: For Congress, a New Vigilance in Policing Ethics. Impact: This new vigilance in Congress might eventually lead to a world where politicians are actually held accountable for their actions, ushering in an era of unprecedented transparency—or at least until the next election cycle.. Fact: Did you know that 'policing ethics' in Congress is like putting a cat in charge of the canary? It rarely goes well, and the canary always ends up in trouble!.