JUNE 16, 2010

Full News Archive

• Headline: India's Rail Bottleneck Challenges Growth. Impact: The clogged rail lines became a metaphorical traffic jam in the timeline of global development. As India struggled to move goods, the butterfly effect spiraled into a global shortage of curry. Yes, the world was deprived of tikka masala because of a few stubborn trains. You're welcome, world.. Fact: Did you know that the average Indian train can carry more than just passengers? It can also carry the weight of national aspirations—no pressure!.
• Headline: Lashkar-e-Taiba's Growing Influence in Afghanistan. Impact: As Lashkar-e-Taiba expanded its attacks, it unintentionally gave rise to a whole new genre of action movies where the heroes are always one step ahead of the terrorists—because apparently, 'real life' just wasn’t dramatic enough.. Fact: Did you know that in the action movie universe, the phrase 'based on true events' often means 'we took some creative liberties for the sake of a good plot twist?'.
• Headline: A Face-Off Over Sale of Spectrum by F.C.C.. Impact: The face-off over the sale of spectrum caused such intense debates that it led to the invention of the first 'Spectrum Debate Olympics.' Events included 'Who Can Yell the Loudest' and 'Most Creative Use of Buzzwords.'. Fact: Did you know that the F.C.C. stands for 'Frequent Confusion Committee'? Just kidding… or am I?.
• Headline: Saving Energy, and Its Cost. Impact: The cap-and-trade system was so politically charged that it sparked a new trend: politicians holding 'eco-friendly' events that ultimately had zero impact on the environment but lots of free snacks for those who attended. Priorities, folks!. Fact: Did you know that cap-and-trade is just a fancy way of saying, 'We’re going to make you pay for what we should have fixed in the first place'?.