MAY 6, 2010

Full News Archive

• Headline: EU's Debt Crisis: Challenges Ahead. Impact: The EU's indecisiveness led to a chain reaction where coffee breaks turned into existential crises, and the phrase 'political courage' became a punchline in stand-up comedy routines across Europe.. Fact: Did you know that while they were busy not solving their debt crisis, the EU also invented the concept of 'political flexibility'—which is actually just a yoga pose?.
• Headline: Britain's Election Amid Economic Uncertainty. Impact: The economic clouds looming over Britain led to a historic surge in umbrella sales, while the phrase 'deep and unpopular cuts' became the unofficial slogan of every politician ever.. Fact: Fun fact: 'deep cuts' in British politics are less about budget and more about haircuts—who knew politicians could rock a mullet?.
• Headline: Teenage Insults Online Take Over. Impact: The rise of teenage insults online sparked a global movement where everyone suddenly became a poet—albeit a very angry and unfiltered one, leading to the eventual creation of therapy apps for teens.. Fact: Did you know that the internet was originally designed to share cat videos, not teenage angst? Guess we took a wrong turn at 'social networking'!.
• Headline: Cardinal Has a Mixed Record on Sexual Abuse Cases. Impact: Cardinal Levada's mixed record on sexual abuse cases created a ripple effect that led to increased scrutiny of religious institutions, proving that sometimes the church is just as good at hiding things as it is at finding sinners.. Fact: It’s a little-known fact that the Vatican has more secret files than a conspiracy theorist's basement. Who knew they were in the business of archiving scandals?.
• Headline: Penny Stock Finds Itself in a Corner. Impact: The penny stock scandal made investors wary of anything that sounded too good to be true, leading to the phrase 'if it quacks like a duck, it’s probably a scam' becoming a financial mantra.. Fact: Did you know that 'penny stocks' are actually just a clever way to say 'give us your money, we promise it's not a total loss'? Spoiler alert: it often is..