APRIL 12, 2010

Full News Archive

• Headline: Twitter's Changing Role for Developers. Impact: As Twitter transformed from a benevolent overlord to a fierce competitor, countless app developers felt the tremors of this shift. Little did they know, this would eventually lead to the creation of countless memes about social media drama, and a future where 'X' would become a thing. Yes, that's what we call Twitter now. Thanks, Elon!. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more volatile than Twitter's policies is the stock market? Who knew that 280 characters could lead to such an economic rollercoaster?.
• Headline: Whitney Museum's Controversial Expansion Plans. Impact: In the battle for art supremacy, Whitney's decision to build a second home sparked a chain reaction of pretentiousness in the art world. Fast forward to today, and we have Instagram influencers claiming to be 'curators' while sipping overpriced lattes in art galleries.. Fact: Fun fact: A second home for a museum means double the chances for selfies with questionable art that nobody understands!.
• Headline: Leno's Comeback Boosts Viewer Age. Impact: As Jay Leno returned to the airwaves, the median age of viewers skyrocketed, leading to a bizarre cultural shift where bingo nights became the hottest social event among late-night audiences. This paved the way for a future where retirees would dominate all late-night talk shows!. Fact: Did you know that Jay Leno's chin has its own social security number? At this rate, it may even run for president!.
• Headline: Recession Arbiters, Wary of Certifying an Upturn. Impact: The committee's reluctance to declare an end to the recession meant that years later, we would still be hearing economists use the word 'upturn' with the same enthusiasm as someone trying to sell you a used car with a broken engine.. Fact: Did you know that declaring an end to a recession is like trying to convince your friends that a bad haircut is 'just a phase'? Spoiler alert: it's not..
• Headline: Hallucinogens Have Doctors Tuning In Again. Impact: The resurgence of interest in hallucinogens by doctors led to the most unexpected side effect—people questioning the nature of reality during their therapy sessions. Who knew that enlightenment could come with a side of psychedelic visuals?. Fact: Did you know that scientists are now debating whether the real therapy is the drugs or just watching your therapist trip out? Either way, it's a wild ride!.