APRIL 3, 2010

Full News Archive

• Headline: Struggles of Small Business Owners. Impact: If the Scanlon family had decided to sell their business instead of scraping by, the entire concept of small business ownership might have turned into an Instagram meme about 'hustle culture.' Who knows, we could all be working for robots by now, thanks to their decision!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'Mom and Pop' is actually derived from the 1950s and has nothing to do with your neighbor's homemade jam? It's just a euphemism for small businesses that are always one parking ticket away from bankruptcy..
• Headline: The Debate Over Unpaid Internships. Impact: The rise of unpaid internships has caused a ripple effect where future generations of workers are now just as confused as they are underpaid. Thanks to this, we now have a society that glorifies 'experience' over actual money. Hooray for progress!. Fact: Did you know that unpaid internships were originally created for people who didn't want to work? Just kidding, that's what they want you to think!.
• Headline: From Newsletter to Lifelong Commitment. Impact: This newsletter's humble origins caused a chain reaction in community support initiatives, leading to the creation of countless other newsletters. Now we're drowning in a sea of unsolicited updates about local bake sales and cat rescue organizations.. Fact: Did you know that newsletters were once the cutting-edge form of communication? Now they just clutter your inbox like that one relative who sends you too many vacation photos..
• Headline: For Pro Athletes, Practice That’s All in the Thumbs. Impact: The idea that video games enhance athletic skills may have led to the formation of a new Olympic category: competitive couch-sitting. Imagine the training camps where athletes just sit around and play video games instead of, you know, exercising.. Fact: Did you know that video games can improve reaction times? So, if you ever find yourself dodging life’s responsibilities, just remember: you might be training for the Olympics..
• Headline: Pension Funds Still Waiting for Big Payoff From Private Equity. Impact: The wait for pension fund payoffs has led to a global phenomenon where retirees are now more financially savvy than their fund managers. This has inadvertently created a new career path: 'retirement financial advisors who actually know what they're doing.'. Fact: Did you know that $17 billion in fees sounds a lot more impressive when you consider it's almost enough to buy a small island? Too bad no one got a vacation out of it!.