APRIL 2, 2010

Full News Archive

• Headline: Obama Advocates for Health Care Access. Impact: If only Obama had handed out free health care pamphlets on the way to his speech, we might have a world where health care is a right and not a privilege. But hey, who needs a strategy when you can just talk about it down the street?. Fact: Did you know that in 2009, health care reform was debated so fiercely that even the chairs in Congress were expected to provide their own insurance?.
• Headline: Exploring Lithuania's Austerity Impact. Impact: Lithuania's austerity measures became the blueprint for other nations, creating a domino effect of budget cuts that led to a worldwide trend of 'let's see how many public services we can eliminate before people notice.' Spoiler alert: they notice.. Fact: Fun fact: Austerity measures are like a bad diet; they promise to make you healthier but often just leave you miserable and starving for basic services..
• Headline: Surge in Pay Garnishments and Debt Judgments. Impact: The rise in pay garnishments has caused a massive uptick in people reconsidering their life choices, leading to a future where everyone is either a financial advisor or a contestant on a reality show about living off scraps.. Fact: Did you know that the average consumer's defense in court is often as impressive as a wet napkin? Spoiler: It's not..
• Headline: On Bronx Stoops, a Highway’s Traffic Entertains. Impact: The Bronx traffic, while initially just a nuisance, inspired a whole new genre of storytelling about urban life—because who wouldn't want to hear tales of honking horns and brake lights at a standstill?. Fact: Did you know that the Cross Bronx Expressway is the only place where a driver can experience existential dread while simultaneously catching up on their podcast backlog?.
• Headline: Questions for School on Bullying and a Suicide. Impact: The tragedy of bullying and suicide sparked a nationwide conversation that finally made schools realize that hazing is not a rite of passage but rather a fast track to a lifetime of therapy. Who knew?. Fact: Incredibly, schools often claim ignorance about bullying, yet they somehow never miss a chance to enforce dress codes from the 1800s..