MARCH 18, 2010

Full News Archive

• Headline: Facebook: The New Relationship Stage. Impact: The rise of Facebook as a 'venting' platform led to the creation of countless passive-aggressive memes, which ultimately resulted in a global shortage of therapy sessions as people opted for 'likes' over real conversations.. Fact: Did you know that Facebook was originally just for college students? Now it's the world's largest therapy group, and your family is your therapist!.
• Headline: Japan's Monetary Policy Easing Explained. Impact: Japan's monetary policy of flooding banks with cash inadvertently inspired a global trend of 'money waterfalls', leading to financial institutions investing in bizarre water-themed marketing campaigns.. Fact: In Japan, they say that the economy is like a sushi roll: if you keep adding too much wasabi (or cash), it just becomes overwhelming and hard to handle..
• Headline: Stealth Taxes: A Hidden Fiscal Strategy. Impact: The introduction of 'stealth taxes' led to the invention of elaborate tax evasion strategies, sparking a new underground economy of accountants who moonlight as ninjas.. Fact: It's funny how 'stealth' taxes are like ninja assassins: you don’t see them coming until they’ve taken your wallet..
• Headline: China Drawing High-Tech Research From U.S.. Impact: China's high-tech research labs became the breeding ground for a new wave of innovations, including the invention of a robot that can perfectly imitate your boss's most annoying habits.. Fact: In a twist of irony, American companies are now outsourcing their innovations to China, leading to the phrase 'Why do it yourself when you can pay someone else to do it poorly?'.
• Headline: Planned Switch to G.O.P. Stirs New York Governor Race. Impact: Steve Levy’s party switch triggered a cascade of political realignments, transforming Long Island into a reality TV show set where every political debate is more dramatic than the last season of 'The Bachelor'.. Fact: Switching parties is like changing your hairstyle; at first, people will be shocked, but eventually, they’ll just get used to your new look... until the next election cycle!.