MARCH 15, 2010

Full News Archive

• Headline: Senate Democrats Push for Financial Reform. Impact: This financial reform bill was like a butterfly flapping its wings, leading to a tornado of regulations that would eventually cause a few billion-dollar bailouts, a couple of angry hedge fund managers, and an uptick in coffee consumption among Congress members as they pretended to care about the economy.. Fact: Did you know Congress has a special room for drafting bills? It's called the 'Room of Eternal Disagreements.'.
• Headline: Repairing America's Aging Water Infrastructure. Impact: The struggle over water systems led to a revolution in DIY plumbing. Now, every homeowner thinks they’re the next Bob the Builder, armed with nothing but a YouTube tutorial and a pipe wrench, all while the city’s pipes continue to burst like a poorly made soda can.. Fact: Fun fact: In medieval times, people actually drank beer instead of water because it was often cleaner. Maybe we should consider a return to those 'golden' days!.
• Headline: China's Trade Strategies Unveiled. Impact: China's clever use of trade rules was the start of a trend where nations began looking for loopholes like they were playing a game of Monopoly, leading to trade wars that made everyone wonder if they should just revert to bartering for chickens and handmade crafts.. Fact: Did you know that the word 'trade' comes from the Old English 'trade,' which means 'to bargain in a way that makes everyone miserable'?.
• Headline: More Parity Atop the Bracket, but Less Talent on the Bubble. Impact: The NCAA's bubble teams became a breeding ground for conspiracy theories about how certain teams were chosen based on their mascot's cuteness rather than actual talent, leading to a national obsession with ranking everything from school mascots to lawn gnomes.. Fact: Fun fact: The NCAA tournament was originally only for men, but then someone realized it would be more fun to let everyone compete—even if the teams were indistinguishable from a random selection of your high school friends..
• Headline: Telling Friends Where You Are (or Not). Impact: The rise of location-sharing apps meant that people could now stalk their friends in real-time, leading to an increase in 'accidental' run-ins at cafes and awkward moments of hiding behind a potted plant.. Fact: Did you know that before smartphones, people used to just call each other to find out where they were? I know, revolutionary..