JANUARY 20, 2010

Full News Archive

• Headline: Endless Snacking in American Childhood. Impact: The rise of snack culture turned America into a nation of snackers, leading to both a booming snack industry and a fundamental misunderstanding of what constitutes a balanced meal. Now, children think dinner is just a long snack break.. Fact: Did you know that if you laid all the snacks consumed by American children in a year end to end, they would circle the Earth several times? Or, you know, just create a massive pile of crumbs..
• Headline: Unity Through Pljeskavica in Queens. Impact: The Balkan Burger's popularity led to a bizarre diplomatic conference over who makes the best pljeskavica, causing world leaders to inadvertently bond over grilled meat. This event ultimately delayed a major treaty signing because they just couldn't decide on the right toppings.. Fact: Fun fact: The pljeskavica is so beloved that it could probably win a popularity contest against actual politicians. Who needs diplomacy when you have delicious ground meat?.
• Headline: AIG Unit Sale to MetLife Discussed. Impact: Selling A.I.G. to MetLife might have seemed like a financial lifeboat, but it actually opened the floodgates for corporate takeovers, leading to an era where companies are sold like garage sale items. Next up: 'Buy One Get One Free' on insurance companies!. Fact: Did you know that A.I.G.'s financial woes were so legendary they could star in a soap opera? 'As the Debt Turns' could have been a hit series..
• Headline: Centrist, and Yet Not Unified. Impact: The centrist health bills not unifying anyone led to a new age of political apathy, where people started to believe that even their kitchen appliances were more unified than Congress. Now, toasters have a better reputation than politicians.. Fact: Did you know that the average person spends more time deciding what to watch on Netflix than Congress spends debating health care? Priorities, folks!.