NOVEMBER 15, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: Pacquiao's Historic 7th Title Win. Impact: Pacquiao's victory sent shockwaves through the boxing world, prompting a sudden influx of wannabe boxers who thought they could achieve greatness with just a pair of gloves and a YouTube channel. Spoiler alert: most of them ended up in the ER instead.. Fact: Did you know that Pacquiao's record is so impressive that even fictional characters are starting to feel insecure about their achievements? Superman is currently considering a career change..
• Headline: A Journey Through Blues and Family Ties. Impact: Robert Palmer's unique take on music criticism inspired countless hipsters to don berets and start their own blogs, ultimately leading to the rise of avocado toast and artisanal coffee. Thanks, Robert, for ruining brunch.. Fact: Fun fact: Palmer once claimed that if you can't find a father in the blues, you might just want to check the nearest bar. They usually have great advice!.
• Headline: Ragtime's Syncopated Reinterpretation. Impact: This new interpretation of 'Ragtime' reminded audiences of the human condition, which led to an unexpected surge in existential crises and a spike in sales for self-help books. Who knew musical theatre could be so enlightening?. Fact: Did you know that 'Ragtime' was almost called 'Ragged Time', but they decided to go with something that didn't sound like a bad band name from the 90s?.