NOVEMBER 14, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: Disney's First Russian Film Triumph. Impact: If Disney had never made that film for Russian audiences, Vladimir Putin might have never had a soft spot for animated movies, leading to a world where he only watches documentaries about bears. Imagine the alternate reality!. Fact: Did you know that Disney also tried to market a film about a talking bear? It didn't go well. Apparently, bears don't appreciate the same kind of humor..
• Headline: Congress Investigates Airlines' Tax-Free Fees. Impact: This investigation led to Congress actually learning how to read fine print, resulting in a new era of travelers who are heavily taxed on their existential dread during flight delays. Thanks, Congress!. Fact: Did you know that airlines once considered charging for breathing? They decided against it after realizing passengers were too attached to that free service..
• Headline: Teen Gang Targets Hollywood Homes. Impact: The rise of burglaries in Hollywood led to the creation of reality TV shows about celebrity homes, which inadvertently trained future generations of burglars. Thanks for the tutorial, Kardashians!. Fact: Did you know that 'Ocean's Eleven' was originally going to be called 'Teenagers with Internet Access'? They thought it lacked the same ring to it..
• Headline: As the Rudes Get Ruder, the Scolds Get Scoldier. Impact: As rudeness escalated, social media platforms were forced to create 'like' buttons for eye rolls. This set the stage for future generations to communicate entirely through emojis and memes. Thanks, technology!. Fact: Did you know that the first recorded use of a smartphone was in a rude text to a waiter? The message? 'Your service is worse than my battery life.'.
• Headline: Quite Big in Britain, Not Quite in the U.S.. Impact: Tracey Emin's struggle in the U.S. inspired countless artists to lower their standards and aim for mediocrity, resulting in a surge of 'meh' art that filled galleries everywhere. Bravo, America!. Fact: Did you know that some American art critics consider 'meh' to be a legitimate art movement? It's called 'Post-Postmodernism.'.