OCTOBER 31, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: Upcoming Insights on Hockey and Lotteries. Impact: Joe Nocera's columns on hockey and lotteries sparked an unexpected global interest in the combination of sports and gambling, leading to the invention of the ‘Hockey Lottery’ craze—where fans bet on who gets the penalty box first. It eventually became a sport of its own.. Fact: Did you know that CliffsNotes started out as a way to avoid reading great literature? So, if you ever felt guilty for skipping 'Moby Dick', just remember—someone made a fortune off your laziness!.
• Headline: Morphoses' Flawed Opening Night at City Center. Impact: The flaws in Morphoses' performance led to the creation of 'Flawless Dance', a reality show where dancers compete to perform the worst and still get applauded. This inadvertently popularized the concept of 'imperfect art', resulting in a worldwide movement for mediocrity.. Fact: Yogurt with blueberries is the preferred snack of aspiring dancers everywhere. It’s like the official food of 'I’m-too-tired-for-a-salad'!.
• Headline: Celebrating the Return of Wedding Rock Bands. Impact: As ex-indie rockers proved that wedding bands could rock, they inadvertently caused a revolution in wedding receptions, leading to the rise of mosh pits at matrimonial events. The phrase 'Til Death Do Us Party' became a wedding motto.. Fact: Wedding bands are just a way to get your uncle to play 'Free Bird' one last time before he passes out in the punch bowl..
• Headline: Pushing Fresh Produce Instead of Cookies at the Corner Market. Impact: The push for fresh produce at corner markets led to a national avocado boom, causing a global avocado shortage in 2020 and the rise of 'Avocadogate'—a conspiracy theory that the government was hoarding avocados for themselves.. Fact: The only thing more expensive than a corner market avocado is the therapy bill for the emotional trauma of picking the wrong one..
• Headline: Why Would He Run for Parliament?. Impact: Zac Goldsmith's combination of interests paved the way for a new political party: The Rock 'n' Roll Green Party, which focused on eco-friendly music festivals. Surprisingly, this led to a decrease in voter turnout, as people were too busy enjoying concerts.. Fact: If only every politician had ‘inherited passion’—we might actually have a government that cares about something other than re-election!.