AUGUST 29, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: Understanding Risks in Money Markets. Impact: This headline caused a collective gasp among investors, setting off a chain reaction of panic that led to the creation of 'What Not to Do With Your Money' seminars. Fast forward a few decades, and now people are investing in Beanie Babies, convinced they're the next big thing. Thanks a lot, money markets!. Fact: Investing is just like dating: if you don't take risks, you're probably going to end up alone... and broke!.
• Headline: Hollywood's Star-Studded Swimming Experience. Impact: The opening of the Davies mansion to the public led to an increase in celebrity tourism. Unfortunately, this also resulted in the invention of the selfie stick, which has caused more injuries than actual movie stunts.. Fact: Swimming with movie stars? Sounds glamorous until you realize they probably just left the pool with a full entourage and a dozen paparazzi!.
• Headline: Josh Harris: The Rise and Fall of a Visionary. Impact: Josh Harris's ups and downs in the digital world inspired countless wannabe entrepreneurs to try and fail spectacularly. This led to the rise of motivational speakers who would tell you that failure is just a stepping stone... right into a pit of despair.. Fact: The internet is a lot like a roller coaster: full of highs, lows, and the occasional vomit-inducing crash..
• Headline: Investors in Cerberus Seek to Pull $5.5 Billion. Impact: The Cerberus Partners fund fiasco made investors think twice about where they put their money, leading to a minor revolution in investment strategies. This eventually spurred the rise of meme stocks, just to keep everyone on their toes.. Fact: Cerberus is a three-headed dog in mythology; perhaps the investors should have considered a one-headed approach instead!.
• Headline: Coupons You Don’t Clip, Sent to Your Cellphone. Impact: The rise of mobile coupons turned shopping into a high-tech scavenger hunt. This led to an eventual emotional crisis when shoppers realized they were hunting for discounts rather than happiness.. Fact: Mobile coupons are basically the adult version of trading Pokémon cards, but with way less charm and more scrolling..