AUGUST 28, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Rise of A.I.G. Stock Ownership. Impact: A.I.G.'s rise led to an avalanche of government bailouts and conspiracy theories about the stock market, eventually inspiring the hit TV show 'Wolf of Wall Street'—because nothing says 'trustworthy investment' like a firm owned by Uncle Sam!. Fact: Fun fact: Not buying A.I.G. stock is basically the same as avoiding a suspicious-looking dessert at a party—just because it looks tempting doesn't mean you want to take a bite!.
• Headline: Sun Belt Housing Boom Slows Down. Impact: The slowdown of construction has caused a mass exodus from the Sun Belt, leading to a new trend of hipsters moving back to the Rust Belt, where they can enjoy artisanal pickles and vintage flannel in peace.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing worse than a housing market slowdown is a hipster trying to explain why they prefer rusty nails to new homes? It's like a bad episode of 'House Hunters'!.
• Headline: Some Catholic Bishops Assail Health Plan. Impact: The Catholic Bishops' concerns over the health plan propelled debates on reproductive rights into the mainstream, catalyzing movements that would shape political landscapes for decades, proving that even a health plan can spark a theological civil war.. Fact: Did you know that bishops discussing health plans is like cats trying to explain quantum physics? It’s baffling and yet strangely entertaining!.
• Headline: After Iowa Flood, Feeling Just a Bit Ignored. Impact: The lack of attention to Cedar Rapids post-flood set a precedent for future natural disasters, leading to the 'Who Gets the Spotlight?' game show we now know as disaster recovery, where cities compete for media coverage.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more ignored than Cedar Rapids after the flood was my attempts to get a refund for that awful pizza I had last week—disasters come in many forms!.