AUGUST 9, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: Yankees Aim for Red Sox Sweep. Impact: Had the Yankees not swept the Red Sox, they might have never discovered the secret to their future success: a winning streak that leads to a dynasty! Or maybe just a really expensive merchandise line.. Fact: Did you know that the Yankees and Red Sox rivalry has spawned more drama than a soap opera? Tune in next week for 'As the Bases Turn'..
• Headline: Hudson River Skies: A Safety Debate. Impact: The crash over the Hudson prompted an endless cycle of increased regulations, which eventually led to the invention of flying cars that still get stuck in traffic. Thanks, government!. Fact: Did you know that air traffic control is basically just a glorified game of Tetris? Good luck fitting those planes together without a crash!.
• Headline: Richard Russo's 'That Old Cape Magic'. Impact: If 'That Old Cape Magic' hadn't existed, we might have avoided the existential crisis that led to all those long vacations filled with overpriced lobster rolls and sunburns.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing worse than a summer at the Cape is a summer at the Cape without Wi-Fi? #FirstWorldProblems.
• Headline: A Mischievous Novelist With an Eye and an Ear for the Unusual. Impact: Bellatin's rise in the literary world resulted in a butterfly effect of experimental novels that make readers question reality, only to be disappointed when they realize it's just pretentious nonsense.. Fact: Did you know that experimental fiction is like that weird cousin at family gatherings? You’re not sure if you should be intrigued or uncomfortable..
• Headline: The Mayor and the Myths: A Case of Political Survival. Impact: Barry's life story, from mayor to prison to documentary star, paved the way for future politicians to realize that scandal could be their ticket to fame. After all, who doesn’t love a comeback?. Fact: Did you know that Marion Barry's life is the ultimate example of 'what doesn't kill you makes you weirder'?.