AUGUST 1, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring Ang Lee's Cinematic Legacy. Impact: Ang Lee's perpetual outsider status led to the creation of a secret society of directors who also feel like outsiders, ultimately resulting in a blockbuster film where all the characters are just awkwardly standing around at parties, unsure if they should mingle or not. Thanks, Ang!. Fact: This retrospective is a lot like Ang Lee's films: it leaves you feeling introspective and slightly confused about your life choices..
• Headline: Luxury Retailers Embrace Discount Strategies. Impact: The luxury retailers' discounting strategy caused an avalanche of confusion in the economy, leading to a sudden spike in people wearing designer brands ironically at thrift stores. Now, everyone thinks they’re a fashion icon with their $5 'vintage' Gucci.. Fact: Nothing says 'I’m struggling' quite like buying overpriced items on sale, while still pretending you’re living your best life..
• Headline: Polo and Glamour: A Stylish Introduction. Impact: Nacho Figueras' rise to polo fame inspired a global trend where more people tried to play polo on a budget—using inflatable horses and pool noodles—leading to a significant increase in injuries and confusion at family barbecues.. Fact: Polo: the only sport where you can wear a fancy outfit and still get kicked in the shins by a horse. Talk about a fashion statement!.
• Headline: Inner-Space Problems in Outer Space. Impact: The series 'Defying Gravity' sparked a wave of sci-fi shows that attempted to tackle feminine issues but ultimately led to a decade of awkwardly placed love triangles in space, where no one can hear you roll your eyes.. Fact: Science fiction: where women can tackle the universe’s deepest issues while still figuring out how to share their spaceship’s Wi-Fi password..
• Headline: Caught Between Hard Rock and Midlife. Impact: Jarvis Cocker's midlife crisis concert inadvertently inspired countless hipsters to buy vintage guitars and start bands named after obscure literary references, ensuring that the music scene was forever plagued by pretentious lyrics and ironic mustaches.. Fact: Midlife crises are just the universe's way of telling you it's time to buy a leather jacket and start a band. Who knew?.