JUNE 29, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Legacy of Pete Sampras. Impact: Sampras’s realization about Federer sparked an era of tennis where players began training in secret, leading to a future where the best players were actually robots programmed with every tennis match ever played.. Fact: Did you know that Pete Sampras once tried to teach Federer how to serve? Turns out, Federer didn’t need any lessons, he was just waiting for Sampras to retire..
• Headline: Journalism Rules Are Bent in News Coverage From Iran. Impact: The bending of journalism rules in Iran introduced a new genre of 'cellphone cinema' which inadvertently led to a future where all news is presented in TikTok format, complete with dance breaks and dramatic music.. Fact: Did you know that before this, journalists actually had to, you know, leave their offices? What a concept!.
• Headline: Shell Faces Even More Revamping. Impact: Shell’s ongoing revamp led to the unforeseen rise of eco-friendly oil, which was basically just a marketing strategy that involved slapping a green label on everything they sold—after all, the future is about looking good while digging up the past!. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing faster than Shell's revamping process is the speed at which they can create new buzzwords to distract from their actual practices..