JUNE 22, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: Revolutionizing Payments with Cellphones. Impact: If only phones had been turned into credit cards earlier, we might have avoided the Great Coffee Shop Meltdown of 2025, where baristas had to deal with endless phone payment fails and existential crises.. Fact: Did you know that before cellphones became payment devices, people actually carried cash? Shocking, I know!.
• Headline: The Ethics of Google's Book Scanning. Impact: The moment Google decided to scan all those books, they unknowingly ignited the Great Literary Uprising of 2030, where authors started writing books exclusively about how to dodge Google’s grasp.. Fact: Fun fact: Google’s scanning skills are rivaled only by that one friend who can find any embarrassing photo of you on social media in less than a minute..
• Headline: With a Plan and a Rope, Captives Escaped Taliban. Impact: This daring escape became the catalyst for the next five superhero movies, all of which were loosely based on 'how to escape from a bad situation' with an emphasis on ropes and plans.. Fact: The rope used in their escape is now considered a historical artifact, right next to the world's oldest pizza slice..
• Headline: As The Boston Globe Struggled, Confusion Prevailed. Impact: The chaos at The Boston Globe sparked a nationwide trend of miscommunication, leading to the rise of the 'Mumble Generation'—a group that communicates solely through grunts and emojis.. Fact: Surprisingly, most newspaper labor fights end up being more entertaining than the articles they publish. Who knew?.